Foghorn Leghorn

from the collection of

Arthur Vyn Boennighausen


.September 9th, 1997

I was shopping in the Jennings Market of Westcliffe today when I noticed my friend Jake going into his office at Westcliffe Properties across the street. Since his back was toward me I thought it was a good time to sneak up on him and practice my imitation of the cartoon character "Foghorn Leghorn"; who as you may know is a six foot three inch tall rooster.

Without warning, from about one foot behind Jake, I bellowed "Did I ever tell you about the raccoon I used to keep as a pet?"

Not missing a step Jake eased himself into his desk chair and politely asked whether this was a believable story?

"Sure it's a believable story!" I answered. "Lots of people have had raccoons as pets!"

Without giving Jake a chance to say another word I started the story:

"Did I ever tell you about the time about twenty years ago when I saw two raccoons coming down a tree while I was squirrel hunting in Missouri?" I began.

"Yes, you told me that story already." He lied as he pretended to look for something on the floor near his desk.

Before I could begin the story again, Jake's associate Bruce jumped in with his own story of his pet raccoon who like to try and catch the water drops from the dripping faucet of the kitchen sink. Bruce also claimed his raccoon could flush the toilet and liked to watch the water swirl down the hole.

This led into a conversation about the current migration of Pigeons from Mexico into the Westcliffe area and the supposed sighting of several Woodpeckers near the high school.

I know when someone is pulling my leg so I gave them a break and went back to shopping for the ingredients to make my famous crack pot chili recipe.

I swore I heard a sigh of relief from behind me as I walked out the door...