"Free Sex with every tank of gas" - a Tall Tale


Around the turn of the century my uncle Floyd and his cousin John-Eddy decided they were going to drive from their farm in Iowa and have themselves a vacation in the Town of Estes Park, Colorado.

After a long and uneventful drive across the Great Plains they arrived on the outskirts of Estes Park. Noticing that they were pretty low on gasoline they looked around for a service station. On the shoulder of the road they were going down they saw a sign that said "Full service gas station 2 miles. Free Sex with every fill up!".

Well Uncle Floyd and John-Eddy looked at one another and immediately decided that they knew where they were going to get gas. After all, they were on vacation and wanted to make the most of their time in Estes Park.

Uncle Floyd pulled into the gas station an awkwardly yelled "fill her up young feller!". After gassing the car the attendant told Uncle Floyd that he owed five dollars and sixty cents for a tank of gas. Uncle Floyd eagerly paid; but when the attendant started to walk away with the money in his hand Uncle Floyd called him back and said "Son, your sign said we get Free Sex with every fill up".

"That's right" the young man said. "Our policy is to give Free Sex with every fill up. However, there is one more thing you have to do before we can give you the Free Sex."

"What do I have to do?" asked Uncle Floyd

"Well, its pretty easy" said the attendant. "All you have to do is guess a number between one and ten".

"Hmm….." thought Uncle Floyd. "I'll guess nine is the number!"

"I am sorry" said the attendant. "The number is two".

The attendant turned and started to walk away and Uncle Floyd and his cousin John Eddy looked at each other in obvious disappointment.

"Wait a minute son" yelled cousin John-Eddy. "There are two of us in this car. I demand a chance to guess the number".

"Ok" said the attendant. "I have never had the passenger demand a chance to guess the number and the owner of this gas station never told me what to do in this situation. Go ahead and try and guess the number".

"I'll guess six!" yelled cousin John Eddy excitedly.

"I am sorry sir" said the attendant. "I told you the number was two".

Well Uncle Floyd and his cousin were really mad about not getting the Free Sex and were still talking about being taken advantage of by false advertising in the Town of Estes Park when they walked into a restaurant to eat lunch.

When the pretty waitress brought them their menus; Uncle Floyd told the waitress the story of the gas station that promised Free Sex with a fill up and how they take advantage of the patrons by making them try and guess a number between one and ten before they get Free Sex.

"Why, that's the gas station I go to all the time" said the waitress with a smile. "Every time I have guessed the number, the nice boy who is the attendant has told me that I have guessed correctly again." "Of course, I have always been lucky in things like that"

Uncle Floyd and cousin John-Eddy just looked at one another and wondered why in the world they had come to Estes Park, Colorado.


Copyright 1996 by Arthur Vyn Boennighausen